What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
