well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
