I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
