Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
