so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
