3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Randomize
