took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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