Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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