Just fell off a train. Bad.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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