So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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