my vag is so smooth its legendary
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize