I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
