and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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