Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Duck Duck Cougar?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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