It's like God shit irony all over that family
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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