curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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