Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
