bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize