you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
