NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
