she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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