I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
