I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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