That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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