I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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