i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
