I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i think i have herpe
just one?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
