So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
