am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
