His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
