Christians are straight up FREAKS
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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