Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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