He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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