You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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