Just fell off a train. Bad.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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