If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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