I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize