where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My balls are so social today.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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