he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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