apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
