marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
