my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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