I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
