honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
