His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
