what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
