i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
