My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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