Pants 0. Shit 1.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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