She said her name was "party"
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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