do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I deserve this hangover.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
