I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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