Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
