kristin has been a bad kristin
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
