He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
