exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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