Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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