I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
