I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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