ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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